Bring in the Fastest Car

Bring in the fastest car you can find

because I need to get out of here quick!
The toilets are overflowing, the pipes cracking,
the bathtub just fell into the kitchen
the food in the refrigerator rots,

clothes in the closets don’t fit.
The tables in the house are legless,

pages are out of books, or glued together,
Every pan is burnt, no pieces for any of the games,

the suits have no ties,
Chairs are broken. The couches overstuffed and exploded.
Every dish, plate, saucer, mug, serving plate
slid off the counter and smashed.
The pictures are falling off the walls
People jump out of the paintings and run for their lives.
Our silverware is bent, forks have no teeth,

spoons are flat, knives dull.
Our children have grown and the beds are too small.
Glasses with no frames and only one contact lens,
chicken pot pie without the chicken,
soap is out of the dish and into the fishbowl.
Dogs are meowing and cats bark
The swings in the yard have lost their seats.
The slide has a crack right down the middle
because a child ran up it and fell through
The clothesline fell down and clothes mulched into the ground.
The neighbors are divorcing, today newspaper is yesterdays
The whole house is on fire and the creek overflows.
The roof just blew off the house, flying through the neighborhood,
the vegetable garden flying alongside,

cabbage, corn and tomatoes on the go
It's time to hit the road.